Longest Married Couple -- The "Game"

My brother really wanted a variation of the bouquet and garter throw in his wedding. I know for a fact that unlike Westerners who will definitely participate in such games and even jostle for the bouquet, Pinoys and Chinese are more unwilling to join this type of game. It's usually a dreaded part for singles. I know I'm one of those who tried not be noticed whenever this came up (before I got married, that is). My husband was even more extreme and took to hiding in the washroom whenever he anticipates that the "singles" games are next. That's why I did not do any "singles games" and just dedicated my bouquet to my mother, my mother-in-law and my grandmother.

That is why I suggested the "Longest Married Couple" game. I hoped that this will be more acceptable to a more conservative set of guests like we are bound to have. It's pretty simple and painless, actually, all married people stand up, they then get eliminated by number of years of marriage. For example, those who are married for less than a year are first asked to sit down. Then those who are married for 1 year. Then 5 years. This goes on until there is one couple left standing. I've seen this in other weddings and people are generally more "game" in this type of setup. My brother thought that it is a good idea too.

Surprise, surprise! Nobody wants to stand up when the married people are called! Arrgh! I did stand up, but hey, I know I would get eliminated soon because I am not married so long as to called the longest married couple. It was quite painless actually. Unless the married couples are not happy and proud that they are -- in that case, maybe a visit to the Marriage Family Counselor may be in order. The hosts had to resort to calling some of the more senior married couples. The "longest married couple" were together for 31 years. I'm sure there are probably others who are married longer but just didn't want to stand. Anyway, they did give their advise and their secrets for their long marriage. :)

My advice:
Marriage is a big, big change in both your lives. You have to love and trust your partner. That's because you now have to share everything. Everything you own is now communal property. You will have children. You must learn to think like a couple. You can no longer make major decisions without first consulting your mate. That goes for both of you.

That is why it is very important for you to have constant communication. About everything. And never think of giving up your marriage for any trivial matter. It must be foremost in your mind that "To Save my Marriage is important". Don't let small things destroy something beautiful.

Do not expect perfection. Nobody is perfect -- not you, not your mate. Accept that the things that you do not like about your mate is a part of his/her whole personality. There will be quarrels once in a while. There will be times when you feel that you have made the wrong decision, just because you are feeling down or angry. Don't let those things get to you. Remember why you got married in the first place, why you chose this particular person. As mentioned above, communicate. And if communication fails, don't share your problems with your family of origin. They will naturally side with you. Go to a Marriage Retreat or pray for guidance.

Have fun! Go on dates, enjoy movies together. Don't forget that married couples can still have fun with each other!

I congratulate you and I wish you happiness in your married life!

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