When we were younger and "under the mercy" of our parents, we used to have instances wherein we defy them, thinking we know better and vowing that we'll do things differently when it's our turn to become parents. So, did we? Lo and behold, now that we are adults and parents ourselves, we find that most of what they have been teaching us are right after all and that those are the same things we'd want to pass on to our own children!
However, we did find some things which we thought needed some changes. So, without further ado, these are what our participants have to say about the matter:
What are the things your parents did that you would definitely still follow?
Mommy Haze will still want to impart respect for elders, regular prayer times, holding celebrations with the whole family, reading books, finishing your food and free rein playtime under the supervision of adults, like what her folks instilled in her.
Mommy Jenny recalled her parent's roots, being the child of second generation immigrants. She thinks that her parents did well and basically wants the same kind of upbringing for her daughter Belle.
Maver Monet believes that the most important and insightful lessons from her own maver that she took to heart are three basic things--independence, foresight and laughter, all learned the hard way giving her sturdy roots to stand on her own. She definitely will give her little Haligilet his own roots too.
Daddy Angel ponders on fixed and changing parenting tips. He believes that the most effective parenting tips can be found in the deepest part of our hearts.
Mommy Mec believes that there a lot of things that her parents did right. Like valuing honest pay for honest work, believing in God, being mindful of elders, valuing education and being observant of traditions.
Mommy Giselle came to the realization that she has "become" her mother! And it wasn't so bad after all!
Mommy Mhay believes that the way her parents raised her is a good pattern for her to raise her daughter and future children. But of course something appropriate to the present and with a little bit of creativity.
Mommy Joy would to teach the value of money, let Sandy join any activity she likes, enforce a strict schedule for her own protection and to prioritize education. These are the things that were instilled in her as a child. She understands her mother's reasons now that she's a mother herself.
Mommy Pat's mom was practicing attachment parenting way before the term "attachment parenting" became in. She's doing the same for her daughter. Thus she believes that she has actually turned into her mother! Her father was stricter, so they balanced themselves out.
Mommy Jigi notes the contrasts between her family background and that of her husband's and notes that their parenting styles have evolved in their situation. But things like manners, values, prioritizing education, respect for family and fear of God are what she learned from her parents and would definitely still want to instill in her children.
Mommy Apols would still want to bring her kids to the manghihilot for fever and cough, as her parents did.
Mommy Jeng noted that "there are things that I realize my parents were right about and sometimes I even do not realize it, but I am raising my child the way my parents raised me."
Mommy Anah believes that the lessons in respect, honor, and love imparted by her own mother will never go away.
I, Mommy Joey, am a product of two cultures and has always been bombarded with parenting advice. I have chosen to follow a lot of them. I believe, as with most parents here, that basically what our parents imparted are good and sound, and worth passing on to our kids.
What are the things your parents did that you would do differently?
Mommy Haze would want to avoid spanking as much as possible.
Mommy Jenny would no longer allow her daughter to play on the streets.
Daddy Angel would let his children have freedom to be what she wants to be. He would also like to have better communication with his children.
Mommy Mec would rather indoctrinate her children by example, not just because they told them to. She intends to have constant dialogues, a more gentle approach to discipline and investing more in family bonding moments.
Mommy Joy won't want Sandy to start dating before 17. She wants to take a more proactive stand on helping her daughter choose the career she wants.
Mommy Pat really won't change anything, even the curfew for her daughter. She might become stricter even, considering the times now.
Mommy Jigi was raised in a strongly matriarchal family but now wants to stand down and give her husband the due respect as head of the family. She'd also want her children to follow her not because of fear but because of love.
Mommy Apols does not want her kids to eat in from of the TV. She also prefers that her kids stay home rather than go to the mall where they may pick up viruses and get sick.
Mommy Jeng prefers to be a stay at home mother rather than the working mom her own mother used to be. She now works from home where she wants to be.
Mommy Anah, even if she understood her mother's need to leave them to work in a different country, vowed to never leave her own daughter. She also vowed to focus more on her husband and child rather than on herself and keep away from alcohol, which ruined trust and communication between her parents.
I chose breastfeeding over bottlefeeding. There are also other things I chose to do differently because I do believe that times have changed and we have to adjust to those changes.
A little bit of humor here...
Mommy Earlinggorgeous recalls the values she learned at home in a very tongue-in-cheek, humorous way. She also recalls how kids were brought up in the 50's, 60's and 70's.
Thank you so much to all the participants. I've learned a lot from hosting this carnival (and from the previous PPBC editions). There are still a lot to learn about parenting, so let's see each other again in the next edition of the Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival hosted at my other blog, http://tsinay.com.
The theme for the next edition is: My Kid/s Love Me: Let Me Count The Ways. Click here for the call for articles.
Special thanks to Mommy Joy. It was one of her posts which inspired the next theme :)
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