PPBC 3: Parenting Through The Generations

When we were younger and "under the mercy" of our parents, we used to have instances wherein we defy them, thinking we know better and vowing that we'll do things differently when it's our turn to become parents. So, did we? Lo and behold, now that we are adults and parents ourselves, we find that most of what they have been teaching us are right after all and that those are the same things we'd want to pass on to our own children!

However, we did find some things which we thought needed some changes. So, without further ado, these are what our participants have to say about the matter:

What are the things your parents did that you would definitely still follow?

Mommy Haze will still want to impart respect for elders, regular prayer times, holding celebrations with the whole family, reading books, finishing your food and free rein playtime under the supervision of adults, like what her folks instilled in her.

Mommy Jenny recalled her parent's roots, being the child of second generation immigrants. She thinks that her parents did well and basically wants the same kind of upbringing for her daughter Belle.

Maver Monet believes that the most important and insightful lessons from her own maver that she took to heart are three basic things--independence, foresight and laughter, all learned the hard way giving her sturdy roots to stand on her own. She definitely will give her little Haligilet his own roots too.

Daddy Angel ponders on fixed and changing parenting tips. He believes that the most effective parenting tips can be found in the deepest part of our hearts.

Mommy Mec believes that there a lot of things that her parents did right. Like valuing honest pay for honest work, believing in God, being mindful of elders, valuing education and being observant of traditions.

Mommy Giselle came to the realization that she has "become" her mother! And it wasn't so bad after all!

Mommy Mhay believes that the way her parents raised her is a good pattern for her to raise her daughter and future children. But of course something appropriate to the present and with a little bit of creativity.

Mommy Joy would to teach the value of money, let Sandy join any activity she likes, enforce a strict schedule for her own protection and to prioritize education. These are the things that were instilled in her as a child. She understands her mother's reasons now that she's a mother herself.

Mommy Pat's mom was practicing attachment parenting way before the term "attachment parenting" became in. She's doing the same for her daughter. Thus she believes that she has actually turned into her mother! Her father was stricter, so they balanced themselves out.

Mommy Jigi notes the contrasts between her family background and that of her husband's and notes that their parenting styles have evolved in their situation. But things like manners, values, prioritizing education, respect for family and fear of God are what she learned from her parents and would definitely still want to instill in her children.

Mommy Apols would still want to bring her kids to the manghihilot for fever and cough, as her parents did.

Mommy Jeng noted that "there are things that I realize my parents were right about and sometimes I even do not realize it, but I am raising my child the way my parents raised me."

Mommy Anah believes that the lessons in respect, honor, and love imparted by her own mother will never go away.

I, Mommy Joey, am a product of two cultures and has always been bombarded with parenting advice. I have chosen to follow a lot of them. I believe, as with most parents here, that basically what our parents imparted are good and sound, and worth passing on to our kids.

What are the things your parents did that you would do differently?

Mommy Haze would want to avoid spanking as much as possible.

Mommy Jenny would no longer allow her daughter to play on the streets.

Daddy Angel would let his children have freedom to be what she wants to be. He would also like to have better communication with his children.

Mommy Mec would rather indoctrinate her children by example, not just because they told them to. She intends to have constant dialogues, a more gentle approach to discipline and investing more in family bonding moments.

Mommy Joy won't want Sandy to start dating before 17. She wants to take a more proactive stand on helping her daughter choose the career she wants.

Mommy Pat really won't change anything, even the curfew for her daughter. She might become stricter even, considering the times now.

Mommy Jigi was raised in a strongly matriarchal family but now wants to stand down and give her husband the due respect as head of the family. She'd also want her children to follow her not because of fear but because of love.

Mommy Apols does not want her kids to eat in from of the TV. She also prefers that her kids stay home rather than go to the mall where they may pick up viruses and get sick.

Mommy Jeng prefers to be a stay at home mother rather than the working mom her own mother used to be. She now works from home where she wants to be.

Mommy Anah, even if she understood her mother's need to leave them to work in a different country, vowed to never leave her own daughter. She also vowed to focus more on her husband and child rather than on herself and keep away from alcohol, which ruined trust and communication between her parents.

I chose breastfeeding over bottlefeeding. There are also other things I chose to do differently because I do believe that times have changed and we have to adjust to those changes.

A little bit of humor here...

Mommy Earlinggorgeous recalls the values she learned at home in a very tongue-in-cheek, humorous way. She also recalls how kids were brought up in the 50's, 60's and 70's.


Thank you so much to all the participants. I've learned a lot from hosting this carnival (and from the previous PPBC editions). There are still a lot to learn about parenting, so let's see each other again in the next edition of the Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival hosted at my other blog, http://tsinay.com.

The theme for the next edition is: My Kid/s Love Me: Let Me Count The Ways. Click here for the call for articles.

Special thanks to Mommy Joy. It was one of her posts which inspired the next theme :)

PPBC2: On Schools...Where, When and Why

Here in the Philippines, the government has declared that June 10 will be the start of classes for public schools. Private schools will probably open at around the same time.

The child's education is something that is a matter of greatest concern for most parents. There is so much to ponder over when choosing something important like this. The child's education prepares him or her for the future, when he/she will need all the knowledge and all the skills that he/she learned during her formative years to forge his/her own place in the world.

I guess our parents also had some difficulty in deciding where to send us to school. Now that we are parents ourselves, there seems to be too many considerations in choosing for a school to send our kids. Questions like WHEN to send them, WHERE to send them, WHAT kind of education will they be getting, HOW MUCH is it going to cost...These are questions that parents try to answer when they choose a school.

Maver Monet, in her own words, is not really an advocate of early childhood education, since she believes that her son has a lot of learning already from the home. However, she and her husband decided to let their son Nino start school this coming school year. Her reasons here.

Mommy Pat is currently enjoying bonding moments with her 15 month old daughter Tina via Kindermusik. She's already scouting for play schools around her community, as she plans to enroll Tina when she is a little bit older. She still prefers the more traditional schools, preferably exclusive, as she believes that these are already "tried and tested" rather than the newer progressive schools. More on her thoughts here.

Mommy Jenny, on the other hand, prefers a more progressive set-up once her 20 month old Belle. She plans to enroll Belle in a school nearer her community when she's about 2-2.5 years of age. She also prefers a co-ed type of education, and one that offers Chinese. Her thoughts on her school choices and the points for and against each of them are here.

Mommy Jeng muses on her experiences, beliefs and memories about school. She believes that no matter what the teaching philosophy and style the school chooses to focus on, there are advantages and disadvantages to each one. She also believes that the readiness to start school should come from the child. Her Joaqui is currently in toddler school. Her entry here.

Mommy Joey (that's me!) has decided to send Ethan to toddler school in an effort to jumpstart his learning, especially his speech, which has been found to be slightly delayed. My entry here.

Daddy Angel, a proud dad of two and a relative veteran of schooling kids (compared to the other participants), shares his view on how to prepare your child for his first day of school. For parents like me who are just starting to send their kids to school, this is required reading!

All parents want the best education for their kids. For Mommy Tricia, the best education occurs at home. Hence, she has decided to homeschool her child, Zoe. Her reasons are all stated here. I wish I could have her confidence and willpower that she has! Hats off to you!

Every parent desires the best education for their kids. For this round of the PPBC, I have learned that in choosing for the best school for your kid, there is really no one solution that is the right one for everybody. The choice of education really depends on a lot of different factors. And education does not start and end with school. The primary source of education, whether or not the child is homeschooled, is still the home. Everything the child sees or hears at home is what he build unto himself. A child of God fearing parents will most likely be God fearing himself. A child of parents who continually says cuss words in front of the kids cannot be expected not to behave the same way.

To all the participants of PPBC2, I thank you all for your participation and I'd like to apologize for the late roundup. It's been super busy for me the past 2 weeks. I hope you will still join us in the 3rd edition of The Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival. For the month of June, the PPBC will be hosted by Mommy Leah :). Hope to see you there!

PPBC 1st Edition: Becoming a Parent

Becoming a parent is a major milestone. It's probably the most difficult job ever, but it is also the most fulfilling. A helpless, defenseless little human being is entrusted to you to nourish, to raise and to teach. Unless you take on the responsibility of adopting a parentless child, the usual way is giving birth to your child.

Not everybody goes through the same experiences when their child is born. It's all different, it's all exciting and we all want to hear about it! It's like a movie, with all the elements of drama, action and some comedy.

Action! Normal delivery!

Mommy Leah shares that she gave birth to Erin Chloe the all-natural way, without drugs and WITHOUT EPISIOTOMY after a long labor! I am so in awe! She was assisted by a midwife, but a doctor came later to repair the lacerations she got from the birth.

Mommy Tricia got her early Christmas gift when Zoe made her appearance 20 days early! She too had a drug free normal delivery, which is what she wanted, but she almost gave up her wish to deliver normally and almost asked for a CS because she had a hard time pushing Zoe out, but eventually she did what she initially wanted and she is so proud of having accomplished that.

Mommy Pat related that her obedient little Tina followed her Daddy's wish to be born on January 8. She also had a normal delivery, although she had already prepared herself to have a CS birth, since she thought that her pelvis was not adequate enough. She related how the epidural helped her deal with the pain of labor, but made it difficult to tell if she was pushing hard enough, but she eventually came through. Oh yeah, this kikay mommy showered, powdered her face and trimmed her nails just before going to the hospital! And just 2 days before, she even remembered to go to a foot spa!

A little drama...the CS Moms

Mommy Jeng was already on the delivery room table trying with all her might to push her little Joaqui out, but after 1 1/2 hours of pushing, her little boy still couldn't get out. So finally, the exhausted Mommy consented to a Cesarean section. Joaqui finally made his appearance!

Mommy Joey (that's me) also gave birth via CS to Ethan after almost 10 hours of induction and the cervical dilatation remaining stuck at less than 1 cm! Since my bag of water has been leaking for close to 24 hours already, we (my OB and I) knew that we could not wait any longer or my baby would risk infection, hence I consented to the surgery!

Mommy Jigi unfortunately did not progress to more than 4 cms, even after 20 hours of painful labor (by my calculation. This does not even include the pains before that) and the breaking of the bag of water. They finally had to resort to Cesarean section to bring Baby Zech out into the world.

Unlike the other CS moms, Mommy JoyD underwent a scheduled Cesarean section when she gave birth to her boy Braiden. It was Mommy Joy's first operation in Australia and she and her husband Joe, who was with her in the operating room, was apprehensive before Braiden finally came into the world.

More drama...

Mommy Melisse underwent emergency Cesarean section when she gave birth to little Vin. They had Abruptio placenta -- a rare condition in which the placenta separates before the baby the baby is born. Read about their struggles here. Oh, this article is written from the point of view of Vin.

A little humor...

A tuna sandwich and an annoying nurse -- prelude to the "Bu(R)sting Out" of Pinay MegaMom's...TRIPLETS! A very engaging birth story! Don't miss this!

Mommy Jo Ann, also relates how, 9 months pregnant with her third child and ready to give birth anytime, she commuted from her home in Fairview to North Edsa to Meycauayan, Bulacan...and back...ALONE! The bloody show appeared while she was still in Meycauayan but she was still unruffled and still went on with her meeting! She promptly asked her husband to drive her to the hospital once she reached home and gave birth the next day!

Mommy Monet (Maver), relates the comedy of errors that led to the birth of her Haligilet. She was 34 weeks pregnant, her bag was not packed yet, and her husband was out jogging when she was hit by premature labor! She notes that one is never really 100% prepared for parenthood

All of the previous moms would agree that their children's Dad played a very significant role during the time that they were giving birth.

Daddy Angel is a very involved father who relates the financial difficulties he and his wife faced when she gave birth to their eldest child. He lost his job just 2 weeks before the birth! To add to their problems, the newborn baby developed an infection! But they have since pulled through and the baby is now a 12 year old little lady.

Mommy Earthlinggorgeous, while celebrating the birthday of her 6 year old girl, reminisced about the circumstances surrounding the birth of her Anastacia. She was able to go through the whole natural, no anesthesia experience with the help of her mother, her siblings and her friends. The father, contrary to the others mentioned above, was not around during the event, and was not around afterwards.

Reflections on becoming a parent...

Mommy Mec in a sentimental post, wrote about all the challenges and changes that she faced and still continues to face while becoming a parent. She reminds all of us that becoming a parent is a continuous work in progress.

Mommy Janet also notes in that becoming a parent is full of surprises and that what you cannot always be too idealistic with your kid. You have to face challenges head on as a parent and the reality may not be the same as the ideals you have set before your kid came along.

I loved ALL the posts, and I hope you enjoy this initial episode of the Pinoy Parenting Blog Carnival. It was so great seeing you all here!

I hope you will continue to participate in the future editions of the PPBC. In fact, the second edition is already up! Call of articles is here.