Starting to wean? Mixed feelings and thoughts

I've been suffering from conjunctivitis the past few days. So to avoid infecting my toddler son, we've decided to forego our usual practice of co-sleeping, at least under I get well. For the past 3 nights, he has been sleeping beside grandma instead.

It was okay for the most part since he already sleeps through the night. When we were co-sleeping, he would usually just roll over and lift my shirt for some "self-service" breastmilk at around 6am, then go back to sleep until around 8am. So I was not really surprised when he would wake up at the break of dawn (like he usually does) and bawl his head off because he wants his usual mommy milk. I would then be summoned to take the little boy and breastfeed.

This morning, however, he still woke at around the same time but no longer cried. They still called me to breastfeed him and he still sucked as enthusiastically as ever.

Was it the start of the end of my breastfeeding era? We realized that this might be a good start to totally wean him off breastfeeding. He's already 1 year and 8 months old and is eating solids well. He also takes in soya milk.

While I'm happy that I have an added measure of freedom now that he can actually sleep without me AND that I can finally wean him off totally, a part of me mourns the fact that he is starting to be less mommy-dependent. I realize that there were be a lot of these moments while he is growing up, and I hope I will be prepared emotionally each time I have to let go just a little bit.

What do you know about the eye disease GLAUCOMA?

A brief overview of the eye disease glaucoma is the new topic of my health blog, http://familyhealthtips.blogspot.com and my hubpage, http://hubpages.com/profile/ethanmama . Check them out.

MyLot pays!

I just got paid by MyLot! The amount is already in my e-gold account! This is my first payout so I am really excited about it! So, for those who doubt that myLot pays, here is the proof that it does!

Click here for my review of MyLot..

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

It's my husband's birthday! To the wonderful man who's always been a loving and supportive partner and a hands on daddy -- HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May you get whatever your little heart wishes for!

Something to be grateful for

Just brought my son to his neurologist. He's been seizure free for the past 6 months. Thank God. I fervently pray that he never have another episode again!

Work Life Balance

In every working mom's life, there is a yearning to achieve the so-called work life balance. I never really thought that there would be a point wherein I have to face the dilemma all working moms face -- that is to choose work, home or a fine balance in between.

There is always the different categories of moms, according to the career they choose after they've had their kids. The 2 extremes are the working mom, and the SAHM (stay at home mother).

Before, I have always thought that I would be a working mom like my mother, getting away at the beginning of the day, leaving the children under the care of a nanny or a loving grandmother, go home at the end of the day, check on the kids, and that's it. Maybe spend more time with the kids on weekends.

Until I became a mom, I never knew how much guilt a mom could feel when she had to leave her child into the care of another person. How much a mom would justify her choice of working by saying that they all need the earning for the child's food, clothing, shelter and education. But there it is....the guilt and also the regret that they are going to miss out on a lot of their kids' developmental milestones.

Stay at home moms have less of the guilt to deal with since they are with their child almost 24/7. But stay at home moms have to deal with being financially dependent on their spouse's income, since she doesn't get paid. Also, stay at home moms, in most instances, would have to give up the many years of training she did for whatever career she fancies herself to be in. But whether or not they admit it, being with her beloved child 24/7 and witnessing everything that develops in the said child also has another downside. The feeling of being tied down to the child and the feeling that she's somehow not productive. Thus, when asked about occupation, the SAHM would self consciously say "I am JUST a housewife." (In Tagalog, "Housewife lang po" or "Wala po akong trabaho, sa bahay lang po.")Also, there is always the fear of who to turn to for "bringing home the bacon" if the man of the house suddenly cannot work, or worse, dies unexpectedly.

Now, there are moms that are neither fully working nor fully stay at home. There is the part timer, there is the work at home mom. All of these try to more or less strike a balance between work and home.

But whatever moms (and dads) decide, one thing is clear. Good mothers come in all categories. They may stay at home, they may go out and work, they may do part time work or work from home....but for every choice there is always a drawback...and an advantage. Mothers try to strike a balance because they are aware that their children need them, both at home and to earn for their needs.

My new blog

I am gradually moving some of my posts over to a new blogsite. Please check it out: http://blogchex.com/theworkingmom/

Why the move? As you can read in my blog, I am trying to earn a little extra money because I'm raising a young son and I've cut down on work. Blogchex pays me to post on my blog! So there I go. If you want to earn from your blogs you can just click on http://www.blogchex.com/?signup&friend=699 to sign up.

It is free to join and you receive an additional 5 percent of the
revenue from any bloggers that join your BlogChex network.  Write about
anything: life, business, travel! The more traffic your blog receives and
the more you grow your BlogChex network, the more you get paid!

So, I hope I'll get to see you soon!

P.S. I probably won't be abandoning this blog. Most likely these 2 blogs will be mirrors of each other :)

My online store

I just realized that I did not post my online store anywhere on this blog yet! Anyway, here's the link: http://www.ethansstore.multiply.com . Please do check it out. I welcome comments, good and bad.

It's really a very simple, startup, online store catering only to residents of the Philippines. I'm still new at this online store business but I believe I'm doing okay.

I know my products are reasonably priced and unique, so BILI NA!

Things I do to earn...

I've mentioned that I am a doctor a profession, an ophthalmologist to be exact. I'm still in active practice, although it's a little more laid back than others. I only work 4 half days a week in my clinic, although this does not include operations and laser procedures, which are usually scheduled. I love my medical practice. I also like the fact that I actually spend a lot of time with my toddler.

However, a 4 half-day practice does not translate into as much earnings as I'd like.

So, I set up an online store. I figured that this would be something I could operate from home. So far, business is growing. It's not as fast as I would like, buy,hey, I'm not complaining. I just started last November, and I didn't really invest a big amount. So I'm happy with the fact that it's getting recognized.

I've also started on some online programs which promise earning when you search, when you surf and when you post on forums. So far, I've earned SOME. I'm still in the process of trying to figure out which are the legit programs and which are scams. So far I've just joined those programs which are free to join. As soon as I've more or less made a review, I'll comment on them here.

So far, my earnings and that of my husband are enough for our day to day expenses. I'd like to increase the earnings because in a few year's time, I'd have to pay for my son's education. Here in the Philippines, quality education does not come cheap. But I'd say it will probably the best investment I'm going to make for my son.

Update: I put up other blogs! http://onlineraket.blogspot.com for my online "works" and http://ethansstore.blogspot.com which is where I sell my stuff. (updated 11.20.2007)

A look back....Things to be grateful for in the year 2006

It's the last day of 2006. It's been a good year for us, and for that we are thankful. Milestones that have occurred during this year for our family:

- My son had a full year of NOT being admitted in the hospital. He is currently seizure free even without maintenance medications.
- My son accomplished his milestones at about the time the books said he should. Sometimes even earlier. Yey! Developmentally normal.
- My son had his first out of town trip. It's just Tagaytay, but still....
- My son celebrated his first birthday party. First time for mommy to organize a kiddie party.
- My husband really became the primary breadwinner in our family, as I had to step back a bit and become a little more laid back with my clinical practice. Thankfully, his patient base also grew this year, and at pace faster than normal.
- My mother turned 60. We threw a surprise party for her. First time for us to host a party for her, that was really a surprise for her!
- My brothers went into new avenues for their careers.
- I started our family's online gift shop business this Christmas season. Still on the "sideline" stage though. [It's at ethansstore.multiply.com , in case anybody is interested :) ].
- I went back to school.
- We bought a new laptop computer, via installment. Our old laptop died....but we were able to have it repaired at a low cost, so now we have 2 laptops! Yey!

There is still so much more. I am thankful for all the blessings that have occurred. I am looking forward to the new year and to new milestones.

Remembering

I attended the "babang luksa" of my uncle and cousins. I really miss them. They were fatalities of the devastating tsunami that hit Phuket, where they were spending their Christmas holiday. My uncle was 44, my cousins were 13 and 10. Sometimes life really seems so unfair, that good, innocent people have to die so suddenly and under dire circumstances. My consolation is that they are most likely in a much better place right now. It does not stop me from wishing that they were still alive. It's really hard to believe they are gone, even after 2years. Deep down, I know Im still mourning.

When Doctor becomes Mommy

Hmmm....what to write?

First of all, I'd like to give you a backgrounder on myself. I'm a doctor, an ophthalmologist to be precise, whose whole life BB (before baby) has been focused on my training and career. Being a doctor is not something you accomplish in a single day. You don't just wake up one day, saying..."Yes, I want to be doctor!" and become one the next day. It takes years and years of singleminded ambition. It takes a lot of patience, sleep deprivation, studies, no holidays (forced, without pay). After which, people think you're already rich just because you have the letters M and D affixed after your name when in fact you're swimming in debt (or your parents supported you all the way).

Did I ever regret my decision? No! Coz being a doctor is something that I really, really wanted. It's my passion, my calling, my vocation.

Now, after the seemingly endless years in the quest to attach the 2 aforementioned capital letters after my name, I got married. Then had a child a year later. Late by conventional standards, at 35. Suddenly, my priorities had to change. Now there's someone who's my new priority. Someone who comes ahead of my career. That means I have to cut back on my clinic hours. My little precious comes first. My baby's mom-- that's who I am, first and foremost.

But can I give my career up? No. Because it's who I am. Now, how to balance being a mom and having an active medical career? I'm working on it....and I hope I get the balance right.