Marrying The In-Laws

When I was still lingering in the w@w yahoogroup even if I've already married and should have moved on (what can I say, I still had wedding preps hangover!), I've seen some brides-to-be ranting about their in-laws, whether it was because of their meddling in the preparations or their personalities. The other brides-to-be would usually advise her to do what SHE wants because it's her wedding and it's their son she's marrying, not the family.

The truth of the matter is that no matter what you say about marrying the man and not his family, you can't separate one from the other. You can't separate him from the people who raised him into the person that you love. The same goes for him too. No matter how much you don't like each other's families, you do have to get used to the fact that after you get married, your family becomes his family and his family also becomes yours.

The problem regarding in-laws is that since they're basically a different family from the family of your origin, you get used to different values and different ways of doing things, hence the big adjustment. Think about this, getting married is already one big adjustment, what more if there are other extraneous factors and people to consider? But that's something you have to put into consideration already from the beginning.

Now, it's probably easier for me because my in-laws are decent people who respect my ideas even if I am not exactly an ideal daughter-in-law. They respect my opinions as much as I respect theirs. I guess, in the end, mutual respect, compromise and love are what you need in order to maintain a smooth relationship with each other.

Oh, and my husband and I already discussed this before we got married. When it comes to sticky situations regarding MY family, I will be the one to represent us. When it comes to HIS family, he will be the one to speak for both of us. That's because we know each other's family better and would know how best to deal with them. This should make for a more harmonious relationship and less friction between us and our families.
This is my contribution to Wifespeaks: Speak Friday.


Momto5cuties said...

This is all so true. I think brides to be will quickly learn there is a balance. At first though it is easy to get upset about what just SHE wants but then you slowly learn there is compromise. Thanks for posting this!!